Silent Hill: Can I go home?
by Insider2000
Summary: A parody of Silent Hill: Homecoming, and it's disturbing truth: that this is how SSH SHOULD have been. WARNING: story includes massive spoilers. This story is rated M for vulgar language and sexual themes. Silent Hill and sex go hand in hand.
1. Introduction

An obscure machine dressed up like a nurse walked up to center stage. "Hello. No, I'm not going to be a major character. I'm here to talk about what you are about to see."

"This story is not suitable for young viewers. Not only are there vulgar language, but explicit sexual themes. Silent Hill wouldn't be right without sex. Right, James?"

James is staring at a computer screen, watching Fukuro for the millionth time. "Yeah…yeah… that's right."

"Please note that this entire storyline is a parody of Silent Hill: Homecoming. It will hold spoilers of the game, and of other Silent Hill games. You have been warned. I know this. It was foretold by Gyromancy." The machine nodded and walked away in a disturbing manner.

Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 1: Dreams to Dream

"Ugh…where am I?" Alex looked around. "Am I…in a hospital?" He looked towards one of the doctors pulling his gurney. "That guy…looks like my father." He looked towards the nurse to the other side of him. "Is that….The Grimace?"

Grimace spoke to Alex while having a facemask on. "Don't worry, Alex. We'll get you all better, buddy!"

Alex turned away in fear. He noticed other hospital rooms. One had a man staring at a TV screen and screaming. The next one had someone screaming in the bathroom. The last one had someone on fire…and juggling burning rings. "What…the fuck?"

Grimace and the doctor left Alex in a random room. The two walked out. Grimace spoke up. "So, did you see that soccer game last night?" Suddenly, Pyramid Head snatched the other doctor and killed him. Grimace shook with fear. "NO! Don't hurt the Grimace! The Grimace just wants to be loved!"

Pyramid Head looked towards Grimace. "Why the fuck would I kill you? You're awesome!"

"R-Really?"

"Besides, nothing can kill the Grimace."

"Thanks. Let's be friends."

Pyramid Head scratched his head, despite wearing a giant metal prism. "Um…I kind of have a conflicting job with you. You're a child icon. I'm a guy to tears the skin off annoying people."

"….Well that's okay. But if you ever need a friend, I'm here buddy."

"Well. Thanks. I guess I'll be taking this corpse and doing unmentionable things with it."

"You enjoy that, buddy." Grimace and Pyramid Head separated.

Alex looked around. "What just happened? Who was that talking to Grimace?" Alex broke free. "Alright, let's see what the hell is going on around here."

Alex rushed around the hospital. "Nothing here…nothing here…." A corpse suddenly slams through the ceiling. "That made me piss my pants…nothing here…this lock is broken…..lock is broken…..AH! Found the place to go."

Alex stepped into the next room. "Josh?" Alex spoke up as if the viewer knew who Josh was. Josh looked up, and ran with fear. "Josh! It's me!" Alex ran after him, into the bathroom.

"Josh? Where are you?" Alex shrugged. "Oh well. Let's see….I could attempt to open that locked bathroom stall. Or, I could reach into that filthy toilet and get a key. Or, I could reach in the mouth of the corpse in that bathroom stall for a different key. Or better yet, I could just take this dagger off of the mirror."

A little girl appeared on the other side of the mirror. She left a bloody handprint on it. "Touch the handprint."

"Yeah." Alex nodded. "I'm not going to fall for that one, you stupid bitch."

"Fine. You're going to the Otherworld now anyway." The girl walked away.

Alex looked at the knife. "Heh. This is the knife of the game? I'm sure it will turn out to be the most useless weapon of the game!" Suddenly, sirens blared. The entire room slowly dissolved into a nightmare. "Oh my God! It's just like the movie!"

Suddenly, a nurse busted the locked bathroom stall open. "OH MY GOD!" The nurse screamed at the top of her lungs. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE! The sirens have been happening since…I don't know…SILENT HILL 1, YA FUCKING MORON!"

"Oh my God! It's a Demon Nurse!"

"I'm a Bubble Head Nurse, you moron! Now stand there so I can walk towards you while having random epileptic seizures, so that I can kill you!" She walked towards him slowly with a knife. "Damnit…. We used to be able to use pipes! Now, we're stuck with knives. BULLSHIT! The doctors got to use guns!"

"Oh my God!" Alex waved his knife at her like a maniac. After several cuts, she fell down.

"Bullshit! This is a disgrace to nurses everywhere!"

"I killed her! OH THANK GOD!" Alex rushed out of the room. "Getting out here!" He started heading up a set of stairs. Suddenly, a wheelchair came rushing down. "SHIT! It's Silent Hill 4 all over again! EVIL POSSESSED WHEELCHAIRS THAT KNOCK YOU DOWN IN A SINGLE HIT! I'm gonna die!" The wheelchair passed him and fell to the floor. "Oh thank god. It's a dud. Cause we all know, evil wheelchairs was a GENIUS idea! Assholes!" He kicked the wheelchair.

Further into the hospital, he found a key from half of the corpse of the doctor from before. "Sucks to be him." As he continued, he noticed an ambush of nurses at the Surgery Theater.

"Why can't we move?"

Another nurse responded. "We're following that bullshit from the movies. We can't move until we see light."

"OH MY GOD! That fucking movie! Damned us all!"

A nurse spoke up. "I liked that movie."

"Yeah, I did too. It wasn't bad. But I really wish we could move."

Alex dealt with them easily. "Wow. Either the author of this doesn't have many jokes for this area, or he just wants to get out of this place as much as I do." As the author ignored Alex's comment, he continued on and found Josh.

"Josh! You piece of shit! You left me, and now look what's happened!"

"I want Robbie!"

"You're pink rabbit?"

"It's a salmon rabbit!"

"Riiiight. Have you not noticed we're currently in a nightmare?"

"Shut up and get me my rabbit, bitch!"

And so he did! After a long trip of getting the rabbit, he returned. "Josh! I got Robbie for you. And look who's here with me, the Grimace!"

Grimace waved. "Hello, buddy!"

Josh tilted his head. "Who's Grimace?"

Alex felt a tinge of his soul burn. "I'm going to ignore the fact that that statement made me feel old. You know Grimace! Ronald McDonald's friend?"

"OH NO! NOT RONALD MCDONALD!" Josh ran away in fear. The door suddenly opened.

"I knew I shouldn't have mentioned him. Grimace. You're the only pure member of the McDonaldland crew."

"I know…I can't believe Hamburglar became a drug dealer… and Birdie became a prostitute. At least I work in Silent Hill now."

"Yeah. It's good to see you, man."

"Good seeing you buddy. Bye." Grimace stayed behind as Alex follow Josh. "Now, where's my other friend, Angela. I hope she's happy today."

Alex stepped into an elevator. Elevator music started playing. It was 'Take on Me' by 'a-ha'. Alex tilted his head to the beat of the song. "I like this song." Suddenly, Pyramid Head's blade impaled through the elevator door, piercing Alex.


	3. Chapter 2: I Can't Quit You, Alex

Alex woke up in horror. "Oh my God! What horrible nightmare!" He looked towards the driver. "AH!"

The driver drove and slowly stared at Alex. "What?"

"Nothing…" Alex thought for a second. "Do I….Do I know you?"

"No!"

"I think I do! Is your name Travis?"

"NO! My name is……Butch…"

"Butch?"

"Yes. Butch!"

"Butch…what?"

"Butch…Her…"

"Butch Her?"

"Butch Herald."

"Oh, okay. Nice name. Thanks for giving me this ride. If you weren't there, I would have had to ride with Big Marge. I heard she tells the scariest stories."

"Yeah…sure…whatever…. Tell me about the dream you had."

"You mean…you actually want a purpose in this plot?"

"Yes! Because my role in Origins was eventless!"

"You were in Silent Hill Origins?"

"…..Maybe?"

Alex shrugged it off. "Well, I was in this hospital."

"Were you experiencing something along the lines of the hospital scene in Jacob's Ladder?"

"Yes… How did you know?" Butch kept silent. "Whatever. Well, I ended up getting lost in the hospital! It was strange; my dream kept shifting from different tenses! Like, sometimes it happened in present, and other times in past."

"Like a bad writer?"

"Exactly! Why would a dream do that?"

"I don't know."

"I mean…did the dream do it on purpose?"

"Doubtful. Dreams usually identify with the person who made it. It's a good chance you're just a dumb fuck."

"Oh! Okay! I can handle that!" Alex looked outside and noticed they had just arrived. "We're here! Sweet!" He looked towards Butch. "Do I owe you anything?"

"Nah. Get out." Before Alex left, Butch gave one last statement to Alex. "Listen…if you see a house on fire, turn around and get the fuck away from it!"

"Will do!" Alex slammed the truck door closed and truck driver drove away. Alex noticed the license plate as it moved away into the fog. 'LisaIzHot'.

"ALEX!!!"

Alex turned in horror. "OH MY GOD! Oh! Judge Holloway! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Yes. I'm quite strange like that." Holloway smiled a very disturbing smile. "How have you been? How was the war? How quickly would you like to die? Would you like some pie?"

"Um…. I've been fine. The war was decent. I didn't quite catch the third one… and no, I'm not hungry."

"Well that's good!" She started giving out a fake laugh, which she followed with a very deep breath. "CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY PIE!"

Alex jumped back. "Okay…Um…I'm sorry?"

"Everyone's sorry. What can you do?"

Alex looked around town. "Wow. The town sure has changed…why do you guys still have promotions from the Obama and McCain election?"

"Well, things just haven't been the same since the last election."

"Why are there so many McCain signs? I thought the majority of us were democratic."

"Yes…" Her eye suddenly twitched. "We were… Except Elle still voted Obama….and Wheeler…..and your mother…."

"Is Elle still here?"

"Oh yes!" She fake laughed to herself again. She breathed in deeply, and ignored the dozens of insects she sucked in through her nose by breathing in so deeply. "She alive and well!"

"And my mother?"

"Oh! She's still at your house! Why don't you go see her?"

"Actually, I was thinking of catching up with you and seeing how things were doing."

Holloway's face turned from a smile to a horrifying frown. "Perhaps you didn't hear me clearly? Go see your fucking mother while I scream yelps of rage in the town hall alone! UNDERSTAND!?!"

"I think so…"

"GOOD! Now get out of my sight!" Alex ran off in fear. As he ran, Holloway stared. Her eyes grew as she stared. "My God…LOOK AT THAT FIRM ASS!"


	4. Chapter 3: Wow! What a Mansion!

"Mom?" Alex rushed into his house. "Holloway is being creepy and mean again!" He looked around. "Oh yeah, and I'm back from the war too!"

The house remained silent. He looked around and noticed several pictures missing. The more pictures found missing, the more worried he got. He quickly rushed upstairs to his room. He shoved his hand under his mattress. "Oh thank god!" He pulled out a picture of Elle in a bikini. "It's still here! I thought they'd have taken it!"

He immediately noticed a flashlight on Josh's portion of the bunk bed. Upon noticing it, a flashback came to Alex.

* * *

This is a flashback from when Alex and Josh were children!

* * *

_Josh cried to himself. "Alex. I'm scared! Why did you make me watch 'My Best Friend's Girl'? Now Dane Cook is going to come and molest me!?"_

_Alex froze in confusion. "What!? Why would Dane Cook want to molest you?"_

_"His eyes, damn you! HIS EYES! They are the eyes of a molester!"_

_Alex looked around to see if that statement made any sense. "Okay…look! Take my flashlight." Alex handed Josh his flashlight. "If Dane Cook ever comes your way, flash it into his eyes and say, 'you're not funny'!"_

_"But Alex… You think Dane Cook funny!"_

_"So? I'm not afraid Dane Cook is going to molest me." Alex sighed. "Fine. Then flash it in his eyes and say, 'If you don't go away, Elle is going to rape you'. That one is at least true."_

_Josh nodded. "Yeah. That IS true. Elle once told me she wanted to have a threesome with you and Dane Cook."_

_"Josh…you need to stay away from Elle…and Judge Holloway for that matter. No matter what, I always feel like she's looking at my ass."_

* * *

This is the end of the flashback. The flashback that flashes you when you don't want it to.

* * *

As Alex came back to reality, he thought for a minute. "That's strange. That flashback happened in the past…when I was younger. But I looked EXACTLY the same! Well…I WAS wearing that faded black shirt. Maybe that means I was younger…"

His thoughts were suddenly shattered by the sound of a rocking chair hitting the floor. Alex rushed down stairs at the sound. As he got closer to the chair, he noticed his mother sitting on it. She turned to Alex. "Alex?"

"Mom? Hey…where is everyone?"

"Alex…have you ever noticed Judge Holloway's voice. She sounds exactly like my own voice! Weird!"

"Mom? Where's Josh?"

"Josh?" She slowly took a DVD box of 'Lucky Number Slevin' out from the drawer and pointed to it.

"Not Josh Hartnett, Mother. Your son!"

"Oh!" She slowly put the DVD away. "I don't know where he is."

"You don't?"

She slowly pulled out a book of 'Where's Waldo'. "No! I can't find him anywhere!"

"GOD DAMNIT MOTHER! Get a grip!"

"I'm sorry. I miss your brother Alex."

"Don't worry Mom. I'll find him." He suddenly noticed a gun on her lap. "Mom? What were you going to do with that?"

"I was going to play 'Duck Hunt'." Lilian spoke with a straight face. "That fucking dog makes fun of me every time I miss the duck!" She cried as she handed Alex the gun.

A strange noise suddenly echoed from the basement. "What was that?" Alex turned towards his mother.

"…It's not just a poisonous snake….IT'S A MONSTER!" She covered her face and cried in horror.

Alex shivered at the Resident Evil reference. "I'll go check it out…"

The flashlight glared throughout the basement. It had been flooded. As Alex looked throughout the basement, he noticed movement in the water.

A Lurker jumped out from the water. "PLEASE GOD! SOMEBODY GET ME A NAIL CLIPPER!"

"OH MY GOD!" Alex began stabbing it in the face. "DIE MONSTER! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!" The creature suddenly fell over and died. As it fell, Alex stopped to catch his breath. "Did that thing talk? Why would it ask something like that?"

* * *

Back in Silent Hill 2:

James noticed the strange radio that called out Mary's name. "James! Why didn't you buy me a pizza you prick!?" Suddenly, a demon patient started rushing towards James.

"SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY BACK!" The demon patient cried as he was beaten with a wooden plank.

"Guess that's not important!"


	5. Chapter 4: Orgasmicly Delicious

Skipping past several boring moments of Alex's adventure, Alex finds himself in an old graveyard. He felt a tinge of fear as he continued onward. "I really hope zombies don't come out of the grave! Wait! What am I talking about? This isn't Resident Evil! This is Silent Hill! That stuff never happens." Alex laughed harder. "That would be like ghosts is Silent Hill. How stupid would that be?"

Walter Sullivan suddenly peeked his head out. "Fuck you!" He then rushed away.

"I guess I have nothing to fear." Suddenly, a Feral rushed in front of him. "OH MY GOD! A Cerebus!….I mean a zombie dog…..I mean a Feral!" Alex began beating the Feral relentlessly with a pipe that he had picked up earlier. Once the Feral died, Alex proceeded onward. "Wow…I really hope this entire cemetery isn't a complete maze that will have no purpose for the storyline except to give me an obstacle from point A to point B."

* * *

Unfortunately, Alex was right. So let's interrupt this eternal strife to get out of that hellhole with a nice commercial break.

* * *

_Heather smiled as she shoved a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. Suddenly, Robbie the Rabbit appeared beside her. "Heather! Can I have some of that Lakeside Cereal?"_

_"Stupid rabbit, Lakeside Cereal is for humans!"_

_Robbie stared at Heather silently and didn't move._

_Heather looked back towards him. "What? I'm not giving you this fucking cereal!"_

_Robbie's head began shaking violently. Strange and annoying shrieking began echoing as his head banged around._

_"OKAY! FUCK! You don't have to do that! Here! Take the fucking cereal! It's not that good anyway!"_

_Suddenly, a strange and creepy voice echoed. "Hey kids! Be sure to force your parents to go to Lakeside Amusement Park! And remember, none of you will ever be able to get a map! And drawing the map to our theme park is far too complicated, even for a grown adult! So, please come and get lost in our park. We'll be waiting! Also, stay away from the Haunted Mansion!"_

* * *

Back to our story!

* * *

As Alex walked out of the parking lot, he noticed Elle posting 'missing person' posters up against the wall. Elle sang as she worked. "~La La La~, I hate this job! I don't give a flying fuck, about any of these people! ~La La La~". She suddenly fell off the stepladder. "OW! My ass!"

"I think that's karma biting you in the ass for disrespecting the missing."

"Blow me! Wait a second?" Elle took a second glace. "ALEX!? Oh my COD!"

"Did you just say 'Oh my C~...'"

She hugged him tightly. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"It's good to see you too."

"I've missed you so much Alex!" Elle laughed. "How long as it been?"

"I don't know. Remember when I slept over at your house, and we play 'Clue' all night long?"

"Oh!" Elle smiled. "How about the time the two of us played Eternal Darkness til' about six in the morning."

"Or the time we first had sex!"

"Or the time I dressed up as Rogue, and you dressed up as Gambit! And then we had sex again!"

"Or that Halloween when I dressed up as Spiderman and was going to meet you. And then you chloroformed me, and I woke up tied to a bed, naked, and covered in hot wax?"

Elle's face froze with shock. "Alex….I don't recall that ever happening…"

"You didn't do it? Then who did?"

"I'm sure it's not important, Alex." Elle continued with the posters. "Why are you here anyway? Going to leave me again?" She sounded annoyed.

"I'm here to get my brother and get out of here?"

She suddenly froze. "Hang on! We just discussed about how we had sex, and you're telling me I'm not included in your escape plan! FUCK YOU! What about me? Why don't you get me out of here too!?"

"Well, would you like to get out of here?"

"No. I like waking up every five minutes at night, finding myself in some strange, red place, and nearly getting devoured by freakish monsters. It's practically my calling!"

"Oh, that's nice."

"Sarcasm, dipshit!" Elle pointed the staple gun towards Alex. "You're going to find Josh, and we're meeting up to get the fuck out of here! GOT IT!?"

"Got it."

"Good! Take this radio! Go see the creepy fuck at the junkyard! I'll meet you at the next part of the story where we meet up."

"Okay! Fine! Fuck!"

As Elle went back to posting, Alex proceeded to the junkyard. Elle looked towards Alex. "….Look at the FIRM ASS move!"


	6. Chapter 5: Time Paradox

"Hello? Curtis?"

"What do you want?"

"Hi!"

Curtis stared at Alex for a while. "…….You're seriously just saying 'Hi'?"

"Well, I need a gun."

"Good for you."

Alex shows the gun that his mother had. "Can you fix it?"

"If I give you a gun, will you leave me alone?"

"God, you're mean! Are you a villain or something?"

"The game makers made me hideously ugly. That's usually a hint to make me a bad guy."

"Then why is James the hero of Silent Hill 2? OH! BURNSAUCE!"

Ignoring Alex, Curtis fondled the gun that Alex gave him. It was old and worn. "It's a shame what some folks do to such nice things." He looked towards Alex. "Notice: I see value in only inanimate objects used to kill others. Another clue that I'm a villain." Curtis gave Alex a different pistol. "Enjoy! Go blow your brains out!"

"OH BOY! Fun, fun, fun! Pew, pew, pew!" Alex laughed. "Ha! Santa was fool to tell me that I would ever shoot my eye out!"

Alex stepped outside of the junkyard. He played around, pointing the gun in a cool pose. "This is the coolest!" Suddenly, a corpse slammed to the ground in front of Alex. "RAPTOR JESUS CHRIST!!!"

The body reached for Alex. "…Alex…."

"Oh my God! Could it be?" He turned the body over. "SANTA!?!"

A bloody Santa Claus rested on Alex's knees. "Alex…I have something very important to tell you, before I die."

Alex sobbed. "I know. You don't want me to use this gun. I'll shoot my eye out if I do."

"No, Alex. I don't give a shit if you shoot your eye out." He then pointed to a Smog. "Kill that son of a bitch! Avenge my death!" His eyes rolled back as he drew his last breath.

"NO! SANTA, WHY!?" Alex pulled his gun out. "You mother fucker!" He proceeded to shoot the smog. "This is for Santa! This is for being a cheap ass enemy who is annoying as fuck! This is for being a rip off of the Patient Demon! And this….I don't know!" The Smog fell over after being shot five times in the lung. Alex took several deep breaths and rested, until Wheeler suddenly rushed past him.

"SHIT BE HAPPENING!"

"Wheeler? The fuck!? You're not supposed to appear in the story yet!"

"Shut up, fool! Run for your life! Can't you see the extreme tension in your surroundings mean that it is time to back track your steps?" Wheeler ran screaming, with his arms flailing.

Random people started running throughout the fog. Angela from Silent Hill 2 started to panic. "Has anyone seen my mother!? I know I'm in the wrong game, but…" Suddenly, Adult Walter from Silent Hill 4 hugs her legs in fear. "OH MY GOD! I need an adult! I NEED AN ADULT!" She waved her hands in a frenzy.

As random Silent Hill characters ran like random monkeys and sirens blared, an old beggar rushed towards Alex. "Listen to me! I'm here to help you!"

"Wait…Aren't you, Dahlia? The one from the movie?"

"Yes!"

Alex looks to his right, where the original game version of Dahlia is standing. The video game Dahlia slowly walked away while talking. "I knew I had a clone. It was foretold by Gyromancy."

The movie Dahlia turns back to Alex. "Riiiiight. Anyway… Head back to the cemetery, find where Mayor Bartlett was earlier."

"Who?"

"And one last thing…when all of this is over. Play Castlevania Judgement!" Suddenly, a large pebble slammed into her face.

Anna, the same woman in the movie who threw stones at Dahlia, screamed at Dahlia. "No! Do not listen to her!"

Dahlia continued. "Reviewers and haters claim it is a horrible game. They only say that because the characters look like they are from Death Note. Believe me, it is a great game!" She is suddenly hit with another pebble.

"Filth and lies!"

Dahlia turned her face to Anna. "Hey, Anna. Is your skin feeling….itchy?"

Alex began to run away. "Stranger danger!" He flailed his arms as he screamed in horror. Running aimlessly, he randomly crashed into a mausoleum. "Oh! Maybe I can hide in here!" He closed the door behind him. Upon searching the only stone coffin inside, he noticed a slide puzzle. "Sweet! I love these." And so, he attempted to solve it, as if the coffin held candy inside. Why anyone would open a random coffin? God only knows. Maybe he could pick pocket the corpse.

However, he only found a small Playstation 2 inside. "Aww…why would someone bury this. I'm sure it's one of those cunts who like saying that game systems are dead. HA! Parasite Eve is a million times better than Halo 3." He then pondered. "I wonder what game is inside of this thing." Completely ignoring the fact that the game system wasn't plugged in, he pressed the eject button. Somehow, the disc carrier ejected the game. As Alex removed the game, his mind began to throb. "Oh shit! I'm having another seizure!" Everything faded to black…


	7. Chapter 6: A Little Bump and Grind

'Welcome to Silent Hill.'

Alex slowly stands up, and finds himself in a completely different place. "What the deuce?" In his hands, he still has the game from the Playstation 2 he found. He tucked the game away in his jacket.

He slowly walked down the street. At that instant, a figure that looked like Josh rushed across the street. Alex shouted out to him, "Josh, wait!"

Alex ran forward, only to bump into someone. The man turned to Josh. "Excuse me, sir." It was Walter, from Silent Hill 4.

"What the fuck! Can you guys stay in your correct games?"

Kaufman, from Silent Hill 1, walked out from the shadows with Angela next to him. "A lot of us seem to be lost right now." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Like this young lady."

Angela screamed and moved away. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" She pointed her knife towards him, and then towards Walter. "AND YOU! DON'T EVEN THINK OF TOUCHING ME!" Angela then looked towards Alex. "AND YOU…." She froze, and then smiled. "You can touch me…"

Alex smiled back at her, but spoke to continue the conversation. "Listen. You guys need to go back to your own games. I have enough insanity here."

Kaufman nodded. "Fine by me. I'm off."

Angela still spoke about Alex. "You can touch my hair…"

Walter started to walk away. "You're right. I have a woman with a broken arm to abuse."

Angela still continued to flirt. "You can touch me….down there…."

Alex smiled. "Angela…Go home."

"Oh come on, Alex. Let's make music together. It'll be better than anything Elizabeth McGlynn made for this series."

"Better than 'One More Soul to the Call'?"

"Better than 'Room of Angels'!"

"If I let you grab my ass, will you leave."

"I'm not interested in your ass. I just want to feel your hands all over my body. Unfortunately, that won't happen." Angela sighed. "Why couldn't you be in my game?" She turned and walked away.

Alex slowly walked into the hotel with a smile. "Luckiest man in Silent Hill!"

* * *

The hotel was pitch black, and for the sake of avoiding pointless moments, we skip onto the moment where Alex meets the creepy woman behind a door who is singing a lullaby.

Alex peeked into the door. "Ma'am? Please stop singing. It's fucking creepy!"

"Hello? Is someone there?"

"Yes. My name is Alex Shepard. I'm looking for my brother, Josh."

"Josh? I might know where he is. I have a key that might give you the answers…but I need you to do me a favor…"

Alex immediately dropped his pants and put his rear in clear sight through the hole. "There…"

The woman stuttered. "Um….that's not…….that's nice…..But I didn't ask to see your behind….with your penis…..somewhat visible……AHEM…I was asking for a different favor."

"Anything else will cost you."

"Wow…you're a disgusting whore." The woman continued. "I need you to find me three memories….. First, the smell of burnt pizza and horrible games. Second, bright strobe lights flashing on and off. Third, the flowing water of the sea and a lost item. Go find these memories for me."

* * *

And so, Alex proceeded to get lost in a FUCKING hotel that SHOULD be a simple place to navigate through, but SHOCKINGLY….IT FUCKING ISN'T!!!

"Oh! I need the axe to get through this wall that was completely unobvious! Use this room to get to the next upper floor, collect five crests to place onto a massive gate, enter the SHRINE OF THE SILVER MONKEY and assemble the silver monkey back together, and then I'll find the first memory. GOT IT!"

* * *

On his way, he bumped into a Needler…

"A needler….like the pink crystal shooting gun from Halo?" Suddenly, a Needler slammed into the room. "WHAT THE FUCK! SHOOT IT!" He proceeded to shoot it fifty times. Every shot, the creature blocked with its seemingly invincible needle arms.

…..Still hasn't killed it yet….

……

…….

……

…….

He's now using his iron pipe…

……

……

……

This could take a while…..


	8. Chapter 7: General Alchemilla Hospital

* * *

After a while of looking up how to kill a Needler, he finally did it. Yay!

Onward through our quest, Alex found himself at a dead end caused by a massive amount of rubble. "Couldn't I just crawl through the rubble?" No, Alex… "But I can easily…" NOOOO!

Suddenly, a tall figure appeared on the other side of the rubble. Alex stared in horror as the renown Pyramid Head appeared on the other side. He slammed his Demon Knife into the floor and stared at Alex. "Excuse me…sir….Is this the Lakeview Hotel?"

"No."

"I'm sorry then. I must be off." He walked away, dragging his massive blade behind him. "Perhaps we can have some coffee sometime? I don't do Starbucks, FYI."

And now, a commercial break!

* * *

_Tomorrow's episode of Alchemilla Hospital, things get intense!_

_Lisa finally confronts Kaufman about his drug issues._

_Lisa gives Kaufman a cold stare. "I will not accept your pipe music, you pied piper!"_

_Eileen gives Henry the news._

_"Henry…I'm pregnant."_

_Henry stares closely at his hands. "Dude…my hands are like………….brown…."_

_And Travis FINALLY confesses._

_"Lisa…..I love you…."_

_Lisa responds in tears. "But Travis….I'm already dead!"_

_"I can handle necrophilia…"_

_All this, on tomorrow's Alchemilla Hospital._

* * *

And back to our feature presentation.

Alex found all three memories. "Here you go ma'am. Memory one is the time you went to Robbie Cheeses. Memory Two was when you got a lap dance from Maria. And memory three was when you threw the necklace into the ocean because you are secretly the woman from the movie Titanic. Can I have the key first?"

"Can I have a photograph of you naked?"

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a photo. "I keep several of these just in case."

"Thank you, young sir. I have…..very poor memory…..yes….that's the issue…." She hands him the key. "No go away, so I can enjoy this."

ALEX GOT STRANGE KEY!!!

And so, Alex returned to a strange door that he passed by earlier.

"Josh!" Alex rushed towards Josh. "OH SHIT! GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND!" Alex grabbed the other side of the hole and was holding on for dear life. "JOSH! HELP ME! DON'T LET ME FALL!"

Josh holds perfectly still.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU COCK-EYED FUCK! HELP ME!" Alex suddenly loses grip and falls. "Please let a Magic Balloon break my fall!" He instead, crashes right on a table. "GOOD! My spine broke my fall! Even better!" Slowly getting up, he searched the room. "What the fuck? Did the hotel give free breakfast in this place?"

A bobble head nurse started screaming at a nearby door. "I know you're in there! I want my free dinner, damnit!"

"Riiiight. I'm going to that other door that strangely leads to a large plant house….wait… Why the fuck does this hotel have an entire room dedicated to plants?"

"I don't know, yo!" Alex turns and notice that James from Silent Hill 2 is standing right next to him.

"What the fuck!? Can we stop crossing the characters of other Silent Hills?"

"You know the answer to that. Besides, I'm here to help you with the oncoming boss battle."

"SHIT! That Needler made me use all my items!"

"Don't worry. He's easy as fuck."


	9. Chapter 8: You Can't Say That!

Alex and James walked towards the next room. "So, James. What's it like being in the most popular Silent Hill game?"

"You get free food stamps, yo! It's pretty sweet!"

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Talk like what, yo?"

Upon entering the next room, Mayor Bartlet stood with a smile across his face. "Shhh." He cradled his beer bottle like a baby. "'Da' baby is sleeping…."

"Mayor, where is your son?"

"Alex?" Bartlet gawked at Alex, and then turned towards James. "…..Did you get the bowl….after getting that bowl cut, by any chance?"

"Mayor! PLEASE!" Alex shook Bartlet like a madman. "This is serious! Where's is my brother? Where's your son?"

Bartlet laughed. "Can't you leave me alone with 'Jack Daniels'? The two of us need to give mouth to mouth for a little while…." He looked at the bottle long and hard. "You sure know how to treat a lady right…"

Alex pulled the disc he got from that Playstation 2 he found earlier. He showed the disc to Bartlet. "Does this mean anything to you?"

Bartlet gazed at the disc. His face of blissful peace transformed into pure fury. He snatched the disc from Alex's hand. "ARE YOU A FOOL? DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?"

"…..Silent Hill 4." Alex turned to James. "You may want to run. This is going to get ugly."

James laughed. "Don't tease me, bro! I've dealt with a lot of fucked up shit, yo!" James laughs. "I've reached into dirty toilets, jumped into bottomless holes without a doubt, and even dealt with Laura. I'm a fucking tank!"

Alex turned back towards Bartlet. "What's the big deal with Silent Hill 4?"

Bartlet shuddered in disgust. "It's a horrible game! Truly terrible. Everyone says it's horrible."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"My son….played this game."

Suddenly, a misshapen creature began to form behind Mayor Bartlet. A tree like corpse moaned and screamed as it hung from the ceiling.

Sepulcher.

"Mayor! Behind you!"

Bartlet ignored Alex. "You have no idea what horrors my son has done!"

James laughed. "Pff. This monster is nothing! I'm not scared."

Alex called out to Bartlet, while pure chaos echoed across the room. "Mayor! What are you talking about?"

Bartlet took a deep breath, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "**_MY SON LIKED SILENT HILL 4!!!_**" His voice echoed across the room, and out of the hotel.

* * *

Outside the hotel, a mix of human characters and Silent Hill monsters ran in terror. They screamed at the words they just heard. For upon that statement, the very fabric of Silent Hill has shattered!


	10. Chapter 9: FOOLS!

"YOU FOOLS!" Outside the streets of Silent Hill, Kaufman is screaming at the top of his lungs. "You've shattered the existence of time and space!"

"I knew this would happen." Dahlia suddenly appeared next to Kaufman. "It was foretold by Gyromancy."

In a flash of light, Dahlia turned into a walking slice of bologna, and Kaufman turned into a walking piece of salami. Maria, who suddenly turned into a piece of cheese, spoke out. "I am the cheese! I am the best character of this series! I am better than both the salami and bologna combined!"

Jasper, who is on fire, runs past the three screaming, "Rocko's Modern Life reference for the win!"

* * *

Back inside the hotel, James suddenly busts out of the room. "OH MY GOD! He liked Silent Hill 4, yo!" James runs crying and screaming. "That's too scary for me!"

Alex looked around, completely confused. "This is ridiculous! So what if he liked Silent Hill 4?"

The Sepulcher lifted its arm as it looked towards Mayor Bartlet. Bartlet cried in terror. "Forgive me!" The Sepulcher crushed Bartlet in one strike.

Alex continued to scream in defiance. "WHO CARES!? I liked Silent Hill 4, too!"

Suddenly, the three villains from Raiders of the Lost Ark proceeded to melt and scream from blasphemy.

Alex looked towards Sepulcher. Alex knew just who the monster was. Alex nodded, and so did the Sepulcher. Somehow, the Sepulcher gained the ability to talk, as both Alex and the creatures screamed at the same time: "The author of this fan-fiction liked Silent Hill 4!!!"

And then…..

* * *

_**ERROR!**_

_**Due to the frequent globe shattering, non-conformist statements towards Silent Hill 4, the entire fictional reality of this fan-fiction has been totally obliterated for a short time.**_

_**As we wait for this fictional realm to reassemble, let us share a public service announcement.**_

_**Dr. Pepper is God!**_

_**You will like Dr. Pepper.**_

_**You will love Dr. Pepper.**_

_**You will give your soul to Dr. Pepper.**_

_**All of this has been foretold by Gyromancy.**_

_**You cannot deny your fate.**_

_**We will all consume Dr. Pepper,**_

_**Until the day Dr. Pepper consumes as all!**_

_**Our public service announcement is now over. The natural order of the Silent Hill realm has been restored. Be prepared for the next chapter.**_


	11. Chapter 10: Penis of the Ash

Alex rubbed his head. Alex finds himself inside a police station cell. "Damn! What happened?"

Suddenly, a shotgun cocked (lolwut?) near Alex. "You better explain what just happened last chapter!"

"How am I supposed to explain it? I simply said that the author likes…"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Wheeler shot the ceiling. A Needler from above slams into the ground and dies. "Where's Mayor Bartlet?"

"Sheesh, Wheeler! When did you get so mean?"

"I'm the first black character of the Silent Hill series. I deserve this power!"

"That's not true! You're not the first……wait…." Alex gawked. "OH MY GOD! It is true!"

"But I'm nice." Wheeler smiled with his eyes crossed. "And to prove it, I'm going to get you out of here and give you my shotgun despite the newly introduced enemies." Wheeler tossed Alex a shotgun.

"Wait….what did you say?"

"I'm sorry Alex. I can't hear you over the plot device being used to separate the two of us." A ton of rubble from the roof slammed downward, separating both Wheeler and Alex.

"Shit!"

"Alex! Wheeler! Come in!" Elle's voice echoed on Alex's radio.

"Elle?"

"Alex! You have to get to the parking lot! I have to show you something."

Alex rushed room to room. Suddenly, Alex is introduced to a new enemy. A Schism.

"Hey, buddy!" The Schism starts rushing to Alex.

"OH MY GOD! Are you naked?"

"Nah! None of us where clothes! Give me a hug, buddy!" The creature rushed to Alex for a hug.

Alex stares at the creature. "I don't think I want a….IS THAT YOUR PENIS!?"

"What?"

"That thing at your crotch?"

"No. My skin is pink, but I have a black…ash like….stick pointing out from my crotch."

"THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THAT'S A PENIS!"

"Nonsense!" The creature proceeded to hug Alex, and eventually started grinding its crotch on Alex's leg.

"OH GOD! NO!" Alex shot the Schism with a single shotgun bullet.

"I only wanted to give love!" The Schism dies with its final words.

Suddenly, five more Schisms appeared. "BUDDY!!!" They all jumped him.

"Fuck! This is worse than Re-Deads from the Zelda series!" He proceeded to shoot them off.

After countless Schism fights and cleaning a stain on Alex's leg, Alex reached the parking lot. "Elle? Where are you?"

Suddenly, a car covered with diamonds busted into the parking lot. The car bounced as loud music blasted from within. Elle peeked her head our the window. "Sup, motha fucka! Look what I found!"

"Damn! Nice wheels!"

Elle waved her arms to the beat of the music. "For sure, bitznach! Ain't nobody gonna mess with this car!"

Suddenly, a Siam slammed in front of Elle. Alex gawked. "A new enemy? Already?"

Siam turned to Elle. "I'm rebellious!" He slammed his massive arms into Elle's car.

Elle's car began to flip out of control in mid-air. Elle screamed inside the flipping car. "ZOMGWTFBBQ!" The car landed upside down, with Elle unconscious inside.

Alex cringed. "I just dealt with a new enemy, and now I need to deal with a new boss enemy? FUCK! Those guys were bad enough!"

Siam laughed. "Don't worry. I'm easy. A few pistol shots, and I drop like a fly."

"Oh…….is that……Is that a woman tied to your back?"

Siam turned his head towards the woman tied up on his back. "Um….yeah….. Nancy, say 'hi'." Nancy waved her hands, which are tied together.

"Right. Let's make this fast." Alex fired six pistol shots, and Siam fell. "Well that was pathetic." Alex noticed that Elle crawled out from under the flipped car. "Elle! We have to get out of here!"

Elle laughed. "We're fine."

Suddenly, about fifty Schisms began rushing towards the fence of the parking lot. They began climbing the fence. "Buddy….buddy…..buddy…..buddy…"

Elle rushed towards a nearby sewer manhole. "HURRY! I don't know why they're calling me buddy! I'm scared!" She opened the manhole and dived right in.

Alex rushed in, and closed the manhole on the way down.

A Schism stared as the manhole closed. "Buddy?" The moment it closed, the Schism looked towards his fellow brothers. "Great! Does anyone know how to open a manhole?"

Another Schism grabbed its crotch. "Right here!" All the Schisms proceeded to laugh uncontrollably.


	12. Chapter 11: Coming to Broadway!

"Oh God! We're in the sewer stage!" Elle cried with agony.

"What's wrong with the sewer stage?"

"Alex. Haven't you played ANY survival horror game?"

"I'm sorry, what? It's too dark!"

"HAVEN'T YOU PLAYED ANY SURVIVAL HORROR GAME?"

"WHAT!"

"Alex. The dark is supposed to hinder your sight, not your hearing."

"Oh. Right!"

"What? I can't hear you!"

Alex and Elle wandered through the sewer. Despite Alex's flashlight, they could not see an inch of the sewer. It was as if the darkness of the sewer was devouring the flashlight…if that made any sense.

"Elle. Is that you grabbing my ass?"

"Alex, please. If I were massaging your ass, I'd be having an orgasm. A loud one."

"Then who is it?"

"Nevermind, it was just a lurker. Those things are getting weaker and weaker."

"Crap. Alex, it looks like we're going to have to split up." Alex points to a gate in plain sight. "Open it, and I'll open the gate from the otherside."

"Wait, what? What kind of crappy sewer system is this?"

"I don't know, Alex. Turn the wheel, please."

"You weren't kidding!" Starts turning the wheel. "Sewer levels suck."

"Yeah. I just hope things don't get worse." Stepped past the gate. "OH SHIT! TOO LATE!" She was randomly grabbed by something unknown.

"Elle! Are you alright?" Her screams flooded the sewer. "Elle, what's happening?"

"OH DEAR GOD! NOT THAT! Please, kill me! Rape me! Swear that I'll never see Alex's ass again! Do any of those things, BUT PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!"

"Elle? What is 'that'? What are they doing to you?"

"PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Elle screams start to grow silent.

"Do what? This is more confusing then that Meatloaf song!"

"I will do anything for love!" The voice of Meatloaf echoed from the opposite direction of the sewer.

"Yeah! That song!" Alex turned around. "Wait. Who said that?"

"But I won't do that." Suddenly a bunch of singing Siams started charging towards Alex. "NO NO! BUT I WON'T DO THAT!" The Siams sang in chorus as they charged to crush Alex.

"Fuck! FUCK! Six bullets per Siam!" Alex started firing. Many Siams began to kneel over to die, but the stampede was endless. Alex eventually grabbed a nearby pipe. Much to Alex's surprise, Judge Holloway waited at the pipe. "Judge Holloway! Please! Help me!"

She immediately dug her nails in his hands. "Where have I seen this before? Ah yes!" She kneeled towards him. "And here's my little secret."

"I KILLED MUFASA!"

"NO!" Judge Holloway tossed Alex into the stampede of Siams.

And thus the two main characters died a horrible death. End Game.

…Go home.

…Okay fine. They didn't die. Happy?


	13. Chapter 12: Now With Extra Stuff

"Alex! What happened? Alex? ALLLLEEXXXX!"

Alex immediately woke up. He found himself right in front of his house, which was strangely covered in barb wire. "Wheeler? Wheeler, is that you?"

"Hey, mother fucker! How are you doing?"

"I thought you were dead!"

"Frankly my dear. I don't give a damn."

Alex felt as if he had been crushed by a train. "Wheeler. Have you seen Elle?"

"There's no time for bitches! Listen! You should head to this doctor's office place. I heard some stuff happening in that place, but I didn't have enough stuff to get in. And I heard some stuff, that the doctor in their did some stuff because everyone else was doing stuff, so he was required to do certain stuff. So I need you to get in there and figure out some stuff. And then everybody dies. Okay?"

"No. I'm leaving. This place sucks! My brother sucks! My girlfriend is only interested in my ass! My girlfriend's mother killed Mufasa! My dad…"

"MUFASA! NO!"

Alex sobbed quietly. "This town is a madhouse. A MADHOUSE!"

"Pick your balls off the floor, buster! You have a doctor to molest!"

"What?"

"Just go, Alex!"

After being chased by three Ferals, Alex found himself inching towards the doctor's office. Upon walking towards the office door, he noticed the doctor himself unlocking the front door. Dr. Fitch was covered in blood, and holding onto a bloody shovel.

"Hey, Doc! How ya been?"

"OH GOD! Alex! It's you!" The doctor started shuffling through his keys to unlock the door.

"Wait….you're covered with blood! And you have a bloody shovel! And it's Tuesday! WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"I killed your dog!"

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry, I thought I was playing Viva Piñata!"

"You killed my dog! Thank you! I hate my dog!"

"Oh God! You're lying! You want to kill me!" Dr. Fitch started turning the key in the door lock. "God! WHY WON'T THE CAR START!"

"Um….Dr Fitch. That's not a car, that's your office building door."

"Oh…sorry!" He opened the door and slammed it behind him.

"Dr. Fitch! Wait!" Alex opened the door right after him. Alex slowly walked down the doctor's office. "Mom always told me to stay away from here. And hospitals. And hotels. And churches….my God the churches…."

A Bobblehead Nurse immediately slammed out of a room. "Fuck! I'm taking my five minutes off." The nurse stopped and noticed Alex. "I'm on break. Leave me alone." The two walked past each other.

Alex stepped into the room of the hall. Inside, a lone doll rested on the ground. Alex picked up the doll. The dolls head was screwed one backwards. "Creepy."

The dolls head immediate turned itself around. The doll spoke. "Creepy? This is coming from the fuck with a psychotic mother and molest bait brother."

"HOLY SHIT!" Alex dropped the doll in fear. "You…you spoke!" Alex felt a sudden pain in his skull. "Ow! What the hell!" He fell over, and slowly descended back into Silent Hill.


	14. Chapter 13: Can't You See I'm Burning!

"Hey! Wake up!"

"Huh?" Alex slowly stood up. As he glanced at his hand, he noticed the doll from before was still there, and it was talking to him.

"You just had to get me out of that fucking box! Thanks shit hole!"

"HOLY SHIT! A TALKING DOLL!"

"Stupid fuck! Like that's the strangest thing you've seen all day!"

Alex shook himself awake. Upon glancing around, he realized that he was nowhere safe. Everything was melted, red, and deformed, like that dream he had before all this happened. "I have to find Dr. Fitch."

"Oh yes. That's your primary concern. YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF HELL WITH A TALKING DOLL! You should worry about…I don't know…SURVIVAL!"

"Who the hell are you anyway?" Alex puts the doll in his pocket.

"OH GOD! NOT IN THERE!"

"Please. Tons of women would love to be in my pocket."

"Well when you put it that way…..NO!"

* * *

Ignoring the horrid doll, Alex wandered the hellish world. The walkways made no sense, floating in their own direction, with nothing but darkness below. Interesting enough, Alex didn't have to worry about any monsters. They all seemed to flee at the sound of the doll's screaming.

"YOU'RE A GOD DAMN IDIOT! PUT ME DOWN YOU SMELL SHIT!"

Alex, strangely, sang songs to completely ignore the doll. "This is the song that never ends!~ It just goes on and on, my friend!~" Suddenly, a man came into view. "Dr. Fitch?"

"No. Sorry. I'm Dr. Kaufman."

"The one from the first Silent Hill, or the dick weed therapist from the newest one?"

"OH GOD! No one wants to be that therapist." Dr. Kaufman gave a mean scowl. "I'm the original, of course." He reached into his pocket. "So…..you want to some White Claudia?"

"No thanks. I don't do cocaine."

The doll surprisingly answered as well. "Dude! Look what happened to Lisa cause of that shit!"

* * *

Lisa sat in fetal position in her bedroom. "May the rats eat your eyes….I am no loss your cause….the darkness comes…..it will damn us all…"

* * *

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Other than the Eternal Darkness reference, she has clearly lost it. Silent Hill is my anti-drug."

Don't do drugs kids. Silent Hill will fuck you up if you do!

Moving on. Alex bumped into a variety of doctors.

* * *

Dr Wily….

"I swear to God, when I get out of here, Flashman is dead! YOU HEAR ME! DEAD!"

* * *

Dr. House….

"I think your issue is that you need to look in that direction for Dr. Fitch."

"Thank you Dr. House." Alex walked in that direction.

"…..Now to wait 15 minutes of the episode, and then point out that the issue is actually that he's in the OTHER direction, and treat everyone like they are an idiot for thinking otherwise. My show is brilliant!"

* * *

"He could be that way, who be over there. Do I know the answer, I don't really care."

And clearly, Dr. Seuss was of no help.

* * *

"Why are there so many doctors here?" Alex continued to walk with the doll.

"Isn't it obvious? Silent Hill hates doctors!"

"What? But Dr. Seuss is a writer!"

"Writer…doctor….same thing."

"NOT AT ALL!"

"DON'T QUESTION ME!" The doll started getting abnormally pissed. "YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!"

"My God, you don't stop talking…"

"Then why did you take me with you, stupid fuck?"

"Because a talking doll is obviously going to be a key item in this game."

"….Fuck….."

"So I'm right, aren't I? HA! Who's the stupid fuck now?"

"YOU'RE JUST A BOOB!" A bizarre voice screeched in the shadows.

"What? Who said that?"

"OH YEAH! Wait til' Robotnik hear about that!" The other voice was deep and stupid.

"Wow, Grounder. You're always riding on Robotnik's dick! HA-HA HA-HAAAAAAA!"

"What about that time you went down on Coconuts, huh, Scratch? Maybe I should call Dateline on you the next time you go to play Dungeons and Dragons with Coconut. Or should I say, play with his dragon in his dungeon!"

The strangers came into view.

"YOU'RE A WALKING PHALIC IMAGERY!" One was Scratch, a large robotic chicken from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog show.

"YOU'RE LITERALLY A COCK!" The other was Grounder, a small drill focused robot from the same show.

"Um…excuse me…" Alex tried to interrupt them.

"GO DIE IN A FIRE!"

"GO EAT A DICK!"

"WHAT IS THIS ROBOTIC FAGGOTRY!" A large man came into view. It was clear that is was Dr. Robotnik. "Stop arguing you metallic cogs! FIND THE EXIT TO THIS BLOOD HELLHOLE!"

"EXCUSE ME!" Alex called out to them.

Robotnik turned his head. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of scolding this to boltbags!"

"I know. I'm sorry, but I was wondering if you knew where Dr. Fitch was?"

"You mean the self-cutting queer who spends all day crying because he killed his bitch of a daughter?"

"Um…..yes."

"Right behind that door." Robotnik pointed to a large, bloody door.

"Wow. That's convenient. "

"And be sure to kill the dickweed for me! " Robotnik proceeded to beat Grounder and Scratch with a wrench.

"Wow. What a nice guy." Alex smiled as he walked toward the door.


	15. Chapter 14: The Red Water

Alex stepped into the room. It was dark and damp. "Hello? Dr. Fitch?"

The doll called out. "HELLO! ANYONE HERE!"

Alex stopped for a second. "Ew! What am I stepping in?"

Dr. Fitch sat quietly. "You're standing on my leg."

"OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry, Dr. Fitch!" Alex paused. "Wait….why are you naked?"

Dr. Fitch played with his knife.

"GOOD GOD MAN!" Alex shielded his eyes.

Dr. Fitch made another cut on his flesh. He had several scars on his body, all self made. "I like it….when the red water comes out…."

"DUDE! STOP REFERENCING SALAD FINGERS, AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Alex screamed at the top of his lungs.

The doll screamed at Alex. "DON'T MENTION SALAD FINGERS! People will look that shit up and then come back to us! That shit is creepy!"

"Wait…" Dr. Fitch dropped the knife. "That voice…Scarlet?"

The doll turned toward Dr. Fitch. "…."

Dr. Fitch reached towards the doll. "Scarlet…my daughter…my sweet little girl…"

Alex walked over to the two of them. "This…this is your daughter?"

"No…This is my daughter's favorite doll. She loves dollies…"

Alex paused. "Dr. Fitch….what did you do to Scarlet?"

"…..I killed her…..I made her some cake…..but put glass shards inside…"

Alex stared in horror.

"The shards cut up her insides, killing her."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Alex put his hands in his head. "This is a comedy right? Insider!" Yes? "I know you want to change the deaths of all the children in this game for humor, but this isn't funny! THAT'S HORRIBLE!" I wasn't trying to be funny. "Then what are you trying to be?" Serious….because Scarlet is the creepiest and best thing about this game.

The doll, I'm sorry, Scarlet looked at her father. "Daddy?"

Dr. Fitch gasped. "Scarlet?" His face of joy slowly turned to pain. His wounds began bleeding uncontrollably. Scarlet fell from his hands, and into the pool of blood surrounding the doctor. Somehow, she fell deep inside the blood, concealing her.

"Insider…this isn't funny…this is creeping me out!"

Suddenly, something suddenly rose from the puddle of blood. A disturbing creature made of porcelain gave an eerie smile to Alex. It immediately picked up Dr. Fitch.

Dr. Fitch looked into the creatures eyes. However, it had no eyes. Merely gapping holes existed. The dolls head was but a mask. "Scarlet….forgive me." The doll cradled her father, but then bit his head off with a single bite.

"OH MY GOD!"

The creature turned around. "Alex…."

"What? You can still talk!"

"Of course, I can still talk." The massive doll limped towards Alex. "Ready to die?"

"But…but…this is a parody…this…this….."

ALRIGHT! THE STAGE OF BATTLE IS SET! WE'RE GONNA HAVE ONE HELL OF A SHOW!

NEXT CHAPTER: ALEX VS SCARLET!

"Oh thank God! The humor set in…" Alex sighed with relief.


	16. Chapter 15: ALEX VS SCARLET!

"Hi. I'm Chris Redfield, and I'll be your host for today's match! You may know me better from the Resident Evil series. And here is my co-host, also from the Resident Evil series, Jill Valentine!"

"Hey, everyone! Are you guys ready for a good match!" Jill took her seat. "Now, here comes the referee!"

Heather from Silent Hill 3 walked in between both Alex and Scarlet. "Alright. Here are the rules. First, each of you must take off your shirt and pants."

Scarlet tilted her head. "What the fuck? I'm a giant doll! I'm not wearing any clothing."

Heather smiled. "I know." She slowly turned towards Alex. "I know very well."

Alex sighed. "Is this for fan-service?"

"Of course."

"Fine." Camera flashes flashed at the speed of light as he undressed.

Heather sighed happily. "We need to be in a game together….MOVING ON! You will now each be given a random weapon. First, Scarlet. Spin the wheel of weapons."

Scarlet covered her face in shame. "This is stupid." She spun the wheel. Everyone watch in worry, as the wheel landed on 'butcher's knife'.

"CONGRATULATIONS! HERE IS YOUR BUTCHER KNIFE!" Heather turned toward Alex. "Alex…"

"Can't I use my own weapons?"

"Just spin the wheel!" As he spun it, Heather took a long look at his ass. "Hehehehehe."

Miles away, Elle is fighting a polar bear. "I don't know why…but I have this sudden feeling to kick the ass of some chick named Heather…".

The wheel landed….on crow bar.

"OOOOOH!" Chris winced at the sight. "He has received the worst weapon in the game."

Jill Valentine laughed. "Seriously folks. The fact that a crow bar is a piece of shit weapon compared to a knife is pretty sad. I mean, you can't even kill Bobblehead Nurses effectively!"

"Alright….get it on!"

Scarlet tosses her butcher knife aside, picks Alex up with her own hands, and throws him across the room.

"….I'll allow it." Heather shrugged.

"Fucking bullshit referee…Just wants to see me naked."

"DON'T MAKE ME THROW IN THE 'NO UNDERWEAR' RULE!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this does not look pretty!" Chris laughed out. "Alex is as screwed as Angela in a cabin with her father!"

"DUDE! Chris!" Jill turned in horror.

"What? They're Silent Hill people. They're suicidal anyway."

Alex stood up with crowbar at hand. "Such….bullshit…."

Scarlet rushed Alex. "COME ON ALEX! HIT ME!"

Alex took a swing, but missed.

Chris laughed. "OH! Swing and a miss! And now let's introduce our guest. You may know him from various fighting game tournaments and most importantly, making the phrase, "That's so Pringles!". Our fighting expert for this match, Yipes!"

Yipes sits quietly between the two. "Sup…"

"Do you have anything to say about this match?"

"…..Why does that doll thing have breasts?"

Chris turns. "…Why DOES Scarlet have breasts?" The entire announcer's board remained quiet, wondering why a creature that is both a doll and based from a dead little girl who never developed breasts, has breasts.

Alex fell to the ground. "Ugh…this is going nowhere fast!"

Scarlet laughed. "Say your prayers, bitch!"

Alex burned with fury. "THAT'S IT! FUCK THIS!"

Everyone turned toward Alex. Alex turned to Heather. "FUCK YOU!"

Heather smiled. "Hopefully."

"FUCK YOU!" He pointed to Jill. "FUCK YOU!" He pointed to Chris. "You're badass!" Points to Yipes. "FUCK YOU, Insider!" Wait…what did I do? "AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…" He readied his crowbar. "FUCK YOU, SCARLET!" He swung…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

**IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!**

Chris and Jill spit out their coffee. "HOLY SHIT!"

Yipes jumped up. "YEAH!"

Alex proceeded to wail hits on Scarlet. Scarlet screamed with every strike.

Chris grabbed the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't believe this! The weakest, shittiest weapon in Silent Hill Homecoming has been used against the most badass boss of the same game, and it turns out to be Scarlet's weakness!"

Scarlet called out. "What bullshit is this!"

Jill called out. "OH! He's performing an combo!"

Yipes cheered on Alex. "SCARLET, GETCHO SHIT STRAIGHT BITCH!"

Scarlet called out to Yipes. "What did I even do to yo..OW!" A crowbar to the face interrupts her.

"BUST THAT BITCH!"

Alex laughed as he prepared the final blow. "I love this game!" Alex laughed to himself.

"COME ON! ONE MORE FOR THE GO!" Alex swung, completely knocking Scarlet through the ceiling and into the sky. "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, BITCH!" Yipes sighed. "Okay, I'm done. I'm going back home." Yipes then leaves. Yipes, ladies and gentlemen. Don't know him? Search him on YouTube playing Marvel vs Capcom 2.

Alex started putting on his clothes. Chris speaks on the microphone. "I don't believe this! The shittiest weapon just got Alex the win. This is undeniable proof that this game is a piece of shit!" Suddenly, Alex's crowbar flies across the room, impaling Chris. "SWEET JESUS!"

Alex grabbed Chris by the throat. "Says the person from Resident Evil 6. P.S., Chris…RESIDENT EVIL 6 SUCKS!"

Chris gasped. "BLASPHEMY!"

Jill froze for a second. "Wait a minute….he's right! Resident Evil 6 DID suck!"

Chris cried out. "Shut up! No it didn't. Right, Sheva?"

"Right, partner!" Sheva smiled stupidly. "We're partners, and partners are always partners. Cause partners, partners, partners."

"…..Um…"

"Partners!" Sheva didn't change facial expression. "Also, I'm black. So Capcom isn't racist at all."

Jill ignored Sheva. "Yeah. I suggest we leave." Jill stood up. "Come on, Chris."

"I'VE BEEN IMPALED WITH A CROWBAR!"

"Please Chris. Like that's the worst you've been hit by."

"Good point." Chris pulled the crowbar out and leaves with Jill.

Alex took his crowbar back, and walked towards the massive pool of blood in the center of the room. Heather walked up to him. She twiddled her thumbs. "Um…..can we make out?"

"…..Maybe later, Heather." Alex smiled as he stepped into the blood pool. He slowly sunk into the pool, returning to the real world. "I wonder where Scarlet ended up…"

Billions of miles away in outspace, Scarlet was slowly floating. "Where am I?" Suddenly, she crashed into a massive space ship. "OW! FUCK!" Scarlet managed to get through a busted open door and into the ship. Stepping into another room, oxygen poured through the room. "What reference is Insider trying to make now?"

Sadly, you won't find out until much, much later.

Later, Space Cowboy!


	17. Chapter 16: A Different The Room

Alex woke up in a mausoleum. "Glad that's over with. I'm so going home!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Elle snowboarded, without snow, back into Sheperd's Glenn. "Wow! That was quite the adventure I had. Good thing I'm back now and randomly okay. Cause if I were dead like Maria, that would be stupid."

Maria appeared out of nowhere. "I NEVER DIE! What are you talking abo~" A meteor crashes into her.

"That'll happen. Usually does for her anyway."

* * *

Back at Alex's house, Alex finally stepped in. "Mom! I'm home!" No one responded. "Mom? Are you still batshit crazy?" Suddenly, his mother fell from the ceiling. "MOM!"

She looked toward her son. "I didn't hit her! That's bullshit, I didn't hit her! I DID NOT!...Oh hi, Alex."

"I'll take that as 'Yes, I'm still completely insane, Alex.'"

Lillian looks around. "Alex. Do we have any pizza in this house?"

"Mom! Listen. I need to get to Silent Hill."

Lillian gave a terrified stare. "Honey…..you ARE in Silent Hill."

"Wait! So you mean….all this time, Sheperd Glenn was really Silent Hill! What is this, an M Shyamalan movie?"

"No no, sweetie. You are in Silent Hill, as in the game."

Alex smacked his forehead. "MOM! The location! The actual town of Silent Hill!"

Lillian screamed in horror. "NO! I can't let you do that, Alex Fox!"

"Mom! I have to!"

"Do you have any idea what's in Silent Hill?"

"Well…"

A random stranger steps into the room. "Excuse me. Why doesn't this game have more Pyramid Head? In fact, why doesn't this game have James, or Maria, or Rose, or…."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SILENT HILL!" Lillian impaled the man with her fist. She then ripped his head off with her bare hands, and tore his torso in two.

"Mom….My God!"

Lillian turned to Alex. "Rule #1 about Silent Hill sweetie. If someone comes up to you and ignorantly talks about Silent Hill as if they know their shit, kill them."

"Um…Okay…"

"Rule #2 about Silent Hill. Never be a doctor or a writer. Rule #3. Always have a flashlight and radio."

"Um…I have both."

"Excellent. Rule #4. When giving this rules, DO NOT give a Fight Club reference. You'll just look like an asshole." Lillian smiled. "And the most important rule….Rule #69. If Pyramid Head gets a hold of you, just bend over and take it like ma~" Suddenly, a group of masked men grab Lillian. "SHIT!"

"MOM!" A bunch of masked men pushed Alex away. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!"

"ALEX!" The masked men dragged her away, as the house started changing. Alex's very home was turning into the nightmare world. The walls peeled off, and what was once familiar to him turned cold. Nowhere was safe. Not even his own house. He had to escape his house, and then, travel to Silent Hill.

"….Damnit…"


	18. Chapter 17: Featuring Whitney Houston

"Why does my own house have to turn to shit? Come on! It's my own house! None of the other Silent Hill games did this!"

* * *

**Silent Hill 3 in a Nutshell**

"Dad, I'm home." Heather walks in quietly. No one responds. "Dad?" The TV is showing static. "DAD?" Heather checks on her father. He's dead with a very warped face. "OH MY GOD!"

"I'M SO SORRY HEATHER!" Claudia appears in tears.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"I'm sorry! I showed him an episode of 'Sex in the City' and he totally flipped out!"

"YOU BITCH! YOU KILLED HIM!"

"No I didn't!"

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE!"

* * *

Heather, who's drinking beer at a bar, "WHAT THE HELL, INSIDER! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT, INSIDER!"

That's pretty much EXACTLY how it went.

* * *

Since the house had so many god damn glitches, Alex proceeded to use a walkthrough. And he did. And upon doing so, he found a new shotgun!

**DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH!**

"Sweet! I don't know why there's a shotgun in my basement, let alone in a hellish version of my basement, but fucking sweet!" Alex steps upstairs. "Well, at least there aren't any monsters in this~"

"BUDDY!" A Schism came charging. However, a single shot from Alex's new blue steel shotgun killed it. "Why….all I wanted was to be loved…"

"FUCKING LOVE THIS GUN!"

And now, Schisms could not touch him. Schisms all through Sheperd's Glenn were saddened by this news. All around, the cried out in sorrow.

Miles away, a group of Schisms gathered together. One stood amounst the Schisms, dressed in a glittery dress and wearing a large black wig. He walked up to a microphone, and started to sing.

**If I…**

**Should stay…**

**I would only be in…**

**Your waaaaay…**

**So I'll goo..**

**But I know…**

**I'll think of you every step of…**

**The waaaaay….**

**And I~ will always…**

**Love you…**

**I will always…love you…**

I large picture rolled down, showing a beautiful picture of Alex. Schisms continued to cry.

**My darling you….**

**Bittersweet…**

Meanwhile, Elle rushed down the streets looking for Alex. Tears swelled up at the thought of him being dead. She sang along with the song.

**Memories…**

Judge Halloway peeked out and saw her daughter. Despite her villainy, she too cried at the thought that Alex's ass was no more. She too sang.

**That is all I'm taking…**

**With me…**

Lillian cried on the kidnappers' ship, and sang along too, strangely with a voice similar to Celine Dion's.

**So goodbye…**

**Please don't cry…**

**We both know…**

**I'm not what you…**

**Neeeeeeeed…**

Meanwhile, Adam, Alex's father, was miles away lost in Silent Hill. However, he didn't give a shit and hoped Alex was dead. No. He didn't sing. The others still continued to sing, though.

**And I will always love you!**

**I will always love you!**

***saxophone solo***

Everyone from the Silent Hill series gathered together. All sad at the thought of never seeing Alex again. The schism's song touched even the heart of Dr. Kaufman, who's heart grew two sizes that day, and saved Christmas. All together, they prepared the Schism's for the triumphant finish.

**I hope…**

**Life treats you kind…**

**And I hope…**

**You have all you've dreamed of…**

**AND I WISH YOU JOY!**

**AND HAPPINESS!**

Elle fell to her knees. She wanted to see Alex more than anything. She sang the final lyrics before the big finish.

**BUT ABOVE ALL THIS!**

**I WISH YOU…**

**LOVE!**

Everyone kept quiet and waited for the Schism to sing the big note of the song. The Schism took a deep breath. Silence…..

…

…

**AND I~**

Suddenly, Wheeler busted in with a massive monster truck and ran all of the Schisms down, including the singer. Shame. I was started to cry.

In all that time we were watching that sentimental moment, Alex managed to make it out of the house. If feel really bad for the song….profound sadness…..


	19. Chapter 18: Psychotic, Sick, Hypnotic!

Elle rushed to Alex. "YOU'RE ALIVE, ALEX!"

"Elle? You're okay!" Alex hugged her. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"YES! Let's get the hell out of here!" The two start running. "Where are we going?"

"Wheeler told me to meet him at the harbor."

"The harbor?" Alex thought for a moment. "Wait, where have you been this whole time?"

"I was on this adventure with this robotic unicorn. I rode on top of him, collecting fairies, using his powers to destroy star rocks blocking our way, and I punched flying dolphins."

"That sounds awesome!"

"IT WAS!"

Suddenly, Wheeler came in, driving his newly massive monster truck. "Ya'll never gonna believe where I was!"

* * *

After Wheeler's long story on how he was transported into a book and fought some douchebag kid named Mewt and his dumbass maternal issues, the three got on the sheriff boat and rode on toward Silent Hill.

"Did I ever tell you about a friend of mine who went on an adventure in Silent Hill herself?"

"No." Alex smiled as he got ready for the story.

"*random reference to Cybil*"

"Well that was short and to the point."

"Yeah. I wonder where Cybil is now."

* * *

Way over in North Carolina, in a bar.

"My God." Cybil held a beer at hand and clinched her forehead to fight the headache. "The amount of times he said, 'Have you seen my daughter?'. I thought I was going to shoot him…"

* * *

"Now I'm gonna ignore you kids. Don't do something crazy like have sex. Cause that would awesome, I MEAN BAD!" Wheeler turned around to manage the wheel. Heh….Wheeler….managing the wheel. Heh heh.

Alex turned to Elle. "So about Josh…"

Elle turned to Alex. "So about Nora…"

The two immediately stop talking and make out.

In Silent Hill, Josh waited patiently. "Freaking Alex. He doesn't even care about me…"

Someone near Josh started coughing and hacking, almost as if it where her method of speaking.

"Yeah, I hear you Nora. We got hosed!"

Alex gave a crooked smile. "So…can you read my poker face?"

"I don't know. Does it want me to ride your disco stick?"

"Maybe. You won't stop until that boy is your's, correct?"

"Maybe you and me should write a bad romance…"

"Maybe I should introduce you to my Alejandro."

"Well tonight I'll be taking no calls cause I'll fucking…."

Suddenly, another gas masked man appeared and grabbed Elle. "NO MORE LADY GAGA REFERENCES!"

Elle screamed as she was pulled off. "NO! FOILED AGAIN!"

Alex called out to the masked men. "SHE'S A LEGITIMATE ARTIST! Oh, and bring Elle back!"

Wheeler flew off the boat. "SHIT BE GOING DOWN!"

"WHEELER!" Alex was suddenly knocked out.

* * *

Alex woke up in a dream.

"The hell…this isn't part of the game."

"Of course it isn't." Suddenly, a creature walking like a Bobblehead Nurse came into view.

"CRAP! WHERE ARE MY WEAPONS!"

"This is a dream." The creature came into view. "And I am Lady Gaga."

"Crap. Karma, I guess."

"Listen, Alex. You must save Josh. He is your nakama."

"My what?"

"Your brother. You must save him from the tyranny of the World Government."

"The what?"

"Silent Hill. But don't worry. Whitebeard will surely help you."

"WHO?"

"Your ass. Speaking of which, turn around for me."

"Naturally."

"Yes….they were indeed correct. Your ass is legendary."

"WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH GOD!" Alex shivered.

* * *

" WHOA!" Alex woke up from the dream. "Did….did I just get molested by Lady Gaga?"

* * *

Several miles away, Lady Gaga woke up with an evil look in her eyes. "Just as planned…" She reached under her bed, and pulled out a Death Note. "It's Thursday. Time to play God."

….That explains SO MUCH!


	20. Chapter 19: Where's The Kaboom?

Alex was alone again. Elle and Wheeler was nowhere in sight. He was alone in Silent Hill. Alex proceeded to talk to himself. "Don't be scared….don't be scared…everything is going to be fine…."

Suddenly, a Lurker jumped out from the sewer and screamed in his face. "HOLY SHIT!" Alex sped down the street.

The Lurker turned in depression. "I just wanted to know what time it was…"

Alex, still in his speedful rage triggered by fear, found himself running abnormally fast. Suddenly, Wheeler's voice blared on the hand-held radio. "Alex? This is Wheeler! Come in. I'm in the prison nearby. I need you here man!"

"Wheeler! Good to hear you. How do I get in there?" Alex was still running around like a maniac. Lurkers chased him around trying to find out the time.

"Listen, the only way for you to get into the prison is to…"

"Disable the electricity so I can get past the electric fence."

"I….YES! How did you know that?"

"I'm already in the power center for the prison."

"WOW! WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON! I WANT SOME!"

"Hang on for a second." A few Order members, the masked men, charged Alex. "Never thought I'd get the chance to fight you guys!" Alex proceeded to rapidly punch one of them in the face, and then rapidly stab the other.

"HOLY SHIT!" The Order member above started to panic. He readied his rifle and aimed towards Alex, who was a floor below him. Alex slowly looked toward the Order member. In a single shot, Alex dodged the bullet, sped up a ladder, and stabbed the Order member. "Such…..hacks…." He fell over.

"Okay." Wheeler began to explain. "What you're going to need to do here is turn all the valves. That SHOULD turn off the power."

"During the time you took to explain that, not only did I accomplish just that, I also managed to find a rifle, which got me a new achievement. However, according to a walkthrough I found on the Internet, the rifle is the most useless weapon in the game."

"Um….Alex…..just get to the prison.."

"Sure thing!"

* * *

Alex started rushing down the street again.

**ALEX (RAPIDIOUS FINEASSIOUS)**

"MEEP MEEP." He continued to run.

Close by, Halloway giggled to herself.

**Halloway (MOMMIEST DEARIEST)**

"And with this massive trap I bought from Acme, I'll finally catch Alex. And then he'll be mine to do as I please! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! By pulling this rope, a Siam Siam will appear and be Alex up, giving me the chance to take him while he's unconscious! IT'S FOOL-PROOF!"

Alex started to come into view. Halloway readied the rope. She pulled it. "HA!"

Alex stopped. The Siam Siam busted through the wall….and charged for Halloway. Halloway looked toward the charging Siam. "Hmm….must have been the wrong hat….." On impact, Halloway flies far into the sky. "LOOKS LIKE TEAM HALLOWAY IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"

Wow. She referenced Wile E. Coyote, Rocky and Bowinkle, and Pokemon all at the same time. Someone give this woman an Oscar!

After six rapid shots to take down the Siam Siam, Alex rushed inside. Alex rushed towards the map. "I'm on a roll! Let's see how easy that place is!"

Suddenly, dread came over Alex. He stared in horror as the map showed what terror lied ahead. "So…SO MANY ROOMS! I'll never finish this! THAT'S SO MANY FUCKING ROOMS!" He stopped for a minute. "Wait…there's another map…." He checked the other page. "THERE'S A SECOND FLOOR TO THIS HELLHOLE!"

So much for the speed boost. And now, we enter the Silent Hill prison.


	21. Chapter 20: Alex Jennifer Connelly

Alex wandered the prison hopelessly. "I'm lost. I'm so fucking lost. This place is so huge!" He ran in different directions, only to run in circles.

Without Alex noticing, a Schism started to walk on the ceiling. Wearing a David Bowie wig, it started to sing.

**How you turn my world, you precious thing!**

**You starve and near exhaust me!**

Completely ignoring the Schism, Alex continued to run throughout the prison. Still, he continued to run in circles.

**Everything I've done, I've done for you!**

**I move the stars for no one!**

Alex ran up the stairs of the prison, hoping to have found a new direction. However, he was backtracking.

**You run so long, you run so far!**

The Schism suddenly walked into Alex's path.

**Your eyes can be so cruel!**

**Just as I can be so cruel!**

**Oh I do, believe in you!**

**YES I DO!**

Alex readied his shotgun.

**Live without the sunlight.**

**Love without a heartbeat.**

**I…I can't leave within….**

Alex aimed the shotgun directly at the Schism. The Schism looked innocently. "….Buddy?" A shotgun blast then sent him across the room, killing him.

"Seriously getting tired of those things." A Needler suddenly crawled behind him. Without even blinking, he slammed his axe into his skull. "Is this game getting easier, or is it just me?"

Suddenly, a Siam busted out of a prison cell. Before it could crash into Alex, Wheeler shot through the room and slammed his finger into the forehead of the female on Siam's back. "You are….already dead." Suddenly, Siam exploded. "Sup, Alex!"

"How did you do that?"

"Nevermind that! Are you lost or something?"

"Well yeah, this place is impossible to get out of!"

"Tch. Idiot. You see that hallway. That's where you need to go."

"That's….that's it?"

"Yep! Later!"

"WAIT!" Alex stopped Wheeler before he could leave. "Why don't you come with me?"

Wheeler seemed serious. "Alex….it's the time of the game now…."

"That time? What do you mean?" Wheeler left without answer. "What am I supposed to do?"

Alex walked down the hallway. No monster approached him. The hallways were silent. He reached the door to the 'Solitary Confinement" hall. He gently opened it. It was dark. A shiver ran down Alex's spine as he stepped in.

He stared down the hall, and what he saw chilled him to the bone.

A gentle and weak voice echoed from the other side of the hall. "Alex?"

Alex was almost in tears. "…..Mom?"


End file.
